Reading and resources
Downloadable resources
Clergy Family Network Data Report 2023.
Spiritual Direction Guide by Steph Nadarajah. Find out more about Spiritual Direction and how it can help you.
Grants and Support
Clergy Support Trust provide grants for families, including holiday’s, health, home appliances and more. They also have services like Sleep Station to help with insomnia and books. https://www.clergysupport.org.uk/
Saint Luke’s Health Care For Clergy provide support with well-being and mental health. They can provide services for clergy, their partners and children under 18. https://www.stlukesforclergy.org.uk/
Sheldon provides a retreat centre in Devon. Whether you want to relax and read, walk in the countryside, feed your faith or get creative, Sheldon is a lovely place to spend time for clergy and their partners. Sheldon has family holiday breaks in the summer. The only rule is, no talking about church work. https://www.sheldonretreat.com/
Sheldon Hub is a message board for clergy and partners. There is opportunity to ask questions, answer posts from others and browse resources. Registration is required to maintain privacy. https://www.sheldonhub.org/
Facebook groups including general clergy spouse and partner groups exist as well as groups for those with specific needs such as clergy parents of adopted children, clergy and partners with neurodiversity and clergy families with additional needs children. To be connected with one of these groups, email us on clergyfamilynetwork@gmail.com and tell us what kind of support you are looking for.
Book Reviews
The Ministry of a Messy House by Amanda Robbie 2013 (UK)
In this book, Amanda explores different areas of clergy family life, weaving in stories from her own experiences. Amanda reminds us that we have permission to be messy in any part of life, encouraging us to be ourselves and gently reminding us at each turn that being the perfect clergy partner is neither possible nor desirable. Amanda’s writing is influenced heavily by her faith in God and beautifully draws out the silver lining in every situation offering witty practical advice at the end of each chapter from how to make an easy Christmas hot drink to how much cleaning up is really required in the vicarage. A lovely and comforting read for clergy partners who are quite involved in their partner church.
Marriage, Mitres and Being Myself by Jane Williams 2008 (UK)
In this book, Jane discusses many of the themes of clergy family life and how it has impacted her over the years. With contributions from other Bishop’s wives, she discusses career choices, personal faith, the expectations of others and the difficulties of speaking up when our boundaries are broken, with honesty. It’s equally reassuring and disappointing to know that many of the difficulties are the same for many of us regardless of the office our partner holds. As one of her participants writes, “People seem to think that from the moment of your husband’s consecration you yourself have, by some process of osmosis, become an expert in theology, hotel management, being a company director and full of confidence!” This is a fun, relatively short read which will be interesting to clergy spouses/partners who want to think about the life of the clergy partner. It doesn’t offer direct advice but plenty of interesting stories to relate to.
We’re In This Together by Celia Bowring 2006 (UK)
Celia takes us on a journey through many themes of clergy family life. She refers to her own well-structured research (the research focuses on women married to men in ministry) to draw out common experiences and discusses these through ideas and stories. Each chapter ends with a set of thought-provoking questions to help the reader decide for themselves how they want to respond to the new information. Although the subject of research and the primary audience is women, this book identifies issues impacting us all. Her work on how to maintain our faith is particularly useful and insightful. Celia’s work helps you think about exactly what works for you as she works through each theme and is reassuringly based on robust research.
A Clergy Husbands Survival Guide by Matthew Caminer 2012 (UK)
Matthew offers insights into clergy life based on his own experiences and a survey of other clergy husbands he conducted. The four parts of the book include: 1) The process of becoming a priest for your partner 2) What does been a clergy husband mean to you 3) The lifestyle of the clergy family 4) What happens when things go wrong At the end of each chapter there are thought provoking exercises to help you work through how clergy family life will impact you. Although the book is primarily centered on the experience of clergy husbands, this book will be of interest to all clergy partners, particularly those starting out in ministry. As Mathew says, “In all sorts of ways, life was changing”.